2017
new year
personal
year ender
2017 IN ABCs
3:02 AM
A - admiration. for the unconditional love that was given and
received. for courage in every nook and cranny.
B - bravery. for showing up even when it is the hardest. for
conquering every challenge.
C - cancer. stage IIIA rectal. the unexpected guest. the one
that came along with us from 2 months prior.
D - death. for meeting it face to face thru your Mother. for
anxiously waiting for it because she said she no
longer want to
resist it.
E - eternal life. for finally learning its true meaning.
F - faith. the deeper one. the one that even your past self
cannot imagine. of being still and fully trusting that He
is God without
questions and struggle; family and friendship. for the undying support.
G - generosity. for family who are willing to just give and
provide without expecting anything in return.
H - hospitals. for white walls who witnessed and heard silent
cries and prayers of healing. for doctors and
nurses who are kind
enough to cure, most especially to care. for being told she only has 12-24
months to
live. for enduring
the never-ending needles of all kinds and sizes. for being our second home.
I - interests. for putting everything at halt. for not writing
(hence this rough entry) and for picking up the camera
with no plans of
having any creative output. for choosing to stay at home instead of setting
foot to new
places.
J - juxtaposition. the other was warm while the other was
sometimes cold.
K - Korea and everything about it.
L - love. that even in her death bed she said she doesn't want
to be a burden; laughters. the hearty ones.
M - mama. for being a warrior and fighting cancer with her eyes
and heart wide open. for overcoming it and for
that last meal that
you shared hours before her last breath. for missing her sometimes (most often than not)
it hurts.
N - new people. the ones whom you never expected. those who value
you as much as you value them.
O - organic. not only in terms of food but in relationships. of
any kind. of how it is okay to let go when it no
longer feels like
one.
P - Papa and Pj. now it is just the three of us.
Q - queue. for waiting for your turn. for putting everything in
order.
R - ray of light, the one that you aim to be. when the clouds
are gray and to keep the darkness at bay.
S - sacrifice. for having little to no sleep; self-love. for
learning to love what is holy in you and for learning to
love what is not.
T - time. how fast it flies and how little of it do we have.
U - unbecoming. of being harsh. of being worn out.
V - victory. because inspite of death, there was a life
well-lived. a soul so beautiful it is only fitting to be in the arms
of the Lord with no pain and exhaustion.
of the Lord with no pain and exhaustion.
W - wishes. words. the last ones. "Laine, pumili ka nang
matino ha.", she said.
X - XI · XXVII · MMXVII, 4:27pm.
Y - yesterdays. the ones that we will always look back on.
Z - zealous. for practicing being one. for choosing enthusiasm
over mediocrity. always.
Au Revoir, 2017. You've been tough.
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